明星高收入合理吗

师哈哈达人

　　Are Stars Justified to Obtain High Incomes?
　　Are you aware of an expanding group of TV alcoholics emerging among your peers, or so called sofa potatoes, enjoying channel surfing, fascinated by star pursuing, chewing up gossips in the circle? The unparallel boom of entertainment and sports industry serves as the best example of the endurable rule;demands create markets, and markets ensure incomes.
　　The prosperity of entertainment and sports circles was, actually, hard to imagine in the old days when dramatists were debased to low status and athletes were fed on no more than spiritual grains.However,the opening policy utterly transformed people＇s lifestyle by providing rich abundance of bread and warm clothes. Therefore, more and more lay people no longer felt content with material wealth, and their desire to fulfill both material and spiritual needs creates the market, which is part of the reason for the stars＇ high income.
　　In contrast with ordinary professions like nurses, doctors and teachers, a higher admission threshold is laid in the entertainment and sports circles. A charming face, elegant manner,strong constitution are indispensable qualities when an ambitious young man dreams about carving a name or at least making alivlng in this field. Due to the high cost to turn an innocent beauty into an fascinating film star, high incomes are charged to make up for his or her diligence and pressure suffered in this cruelly competitive circle. What＇s more, it takes the most precious time in their whole life. How can a pop star count on an ever-lasting career to support all the rest of his or her life? Energy fading away, brilliance never dazzles again.The day is bound to come when fame and fortune say goodbye to those pitiable out-of-date stars. In a word, their present high incomes may be set aside for future use. Therefore, the profession must be lucrative.
　　Another fact also lends credence to this seemingly unfair phenomenon. Not confined to their own profession, those fasbionable stars explore various approaches to enlarge their bank notes, which, in effect, bring about some positive side effects.Say, the high frequency of exposure to various media earns these pop stars a mass of passionate and loyal fans, whereas, their enduring support, on the contrary, adds to the chance of charging an ideal transferal fee when hopping to another club or company.On the other hand, modern citizens are eager to find a vent to release their working stress and the excitement in watching a sport game provides another ingredient for stars＇ popularity and high incomes. One partes demand always results in another＇s considerable benefits.
　　Admittedly, the expanding boom of these two industries proves their social value and the necessity of their existence, but
　　that is not to say other ordinary professions are of less value. After all, the society＇s basic mechanism is built up by those less eye catching group, who try to satisfy people＇s physical and mental needs;such as curing disastrous diseases, providing universal education. A career＇s inner value, however, can never be measured by secular banknotes. One is superficial, the other is profound;one is short termed, the other is long-lasting, neither can replace the other while both beautify people＇s daily life.
　　At last, stars are justified to obtain high incomes because there＇s not a fair scale available to make such a comparison. Every phenomenon has its reason to survive. We need sports and entertainment, therefore we pay for them, and that＇s it.
　　简评
　　这是一篇议论娱乐圈的高额薪酬的文章，整篇文章在表达和论述上不乏几处闪光点，如第一句的引文就比较有新意：“Are you aware Of an expanding group Of TV—alcoholics emerging among your peers，Or sO—called sofa potatoes，enjoying channel surfing，fascinated by star—pursuing，chewing gossips ln the circle?"自然导入文章的中心句“Demands create markets，whereas markets ensure incomes．又如，“A career＇s inner value，however，can
　　never be measured by secular banknotes，just like any noble courses never being rewarded with bonus．”(Para．Six)这个观点本身提得很好，这是文章的可取之处。
　　但通篇文章缺少一个贯穿全文的主线。虽说“Demands create markets，and markets ensure incomes．”看似文章的中心句，但整个论述并没有围绕这一点展开，论说过程缺少层次感和条理性，看起来倒像东一笔，西一笔，想到哪儿，写到哪儿。第二段和第
　　五段似乎在讲人们的需要创造了这个市场，但并未重点展开论述，又夹在两条不相关的信息中间，因此没有说服力。
　　论说文首先是要有一条主线，即中心要明确。在展开论述时一定要思路清晰，条理分明，选择最有说服力的论据。论据不宜过多，太多就分散了读者的注意力，论述也可能显得空乏无力，选择两三点进行较深入透彻的展开，紧扣主题信息，展开论述。同时可以使用一些过渡词，或疑问、倒装句式等来加强文章的层次感，强化立场，丰富文章的表达，这样文章会更具有可读性。
　　(点评教师：卢爱华)